cabin fever

it just occurred to me that i should start packing up. i'm getting more impatient to go home these days. i had the idea that i might stick around and see what there is here but i haven't been all that motivated to go anywhere. i think i'm quite satisfied and i won't feel any regret if i leave next week. i think the lesson i learned is that if i ever do this again, i should go explore and have fun as i'm doing my job instead of waiting for the end because i'll just be tired and want to head home at that point.

i've been getting a number of calls this week from friends and family wondering when i'm heading back. it's kind of nice for people to remember i'm not there. i guess i've always had this odd thought that i was invisible, that if i didn't say a word or regularly appear, people would cease to remember that i ever existed. i remember as a kid when my parents came to check if i was asleep, i would pretend to be sleeping, but then open my eyes a little to see if they were still there. somehow i thought that they wouldn't be able to tell that my eyes were open. but of course people notice you and remember you or ignore you and forget you regardless of what you think.