i played my first mmorpg last friday and i have to admit i was hooked. i've been playing every day, wasting an embarrassing number of hours, until this morning when i found that i couldn't log into the server. since i couldn't play, i took some time to browse through the player forums. after half an hour of reading, it's very easy for me to say that i will never waste time on another game like this again.
i had avoided games like world of warcraft precisely because they're an incredible waste of time. i tried this one just because it was advertised as free. i found out it's free to start, but if you want to get anywhere, you have to shell out some real money. after reading through the forums, i also found out that the game has no point. it never ends. you never achieve anything. it ends when you are fed up with wasting your life on it.
i also found out that there are people in the world who have more passion for game play experience than i have passion for just about anything. not to say that i'm not a passionate person, but i was amazed at how serious people were taking this game. anyway, i can safely say that i've tried it and although it was fun at the start, it's probably better that i didn't waste any more time on it.
now let's see if i can start sleeping like a normal human being again.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
strange dreams
i've been having a lot of strange dreams lately with the common theme being running away or escaping.
in one i was in some futuristic outlaw motorcycle gang where i needed to escape both the police and the gang i double crossed by getting off an island. i woke up as i was approaching a rising drawbridge at full speed in an attempt to jump over it.
in another, i was again in a futuristic outlaw motorcycle gang where i needed to escape some island, but this time by jumping off the end of a pier onto the departing ferry. i seem to remember that all the passengers on this ferry were women standing outside on the deck waiting to see if i made it or drowned.
in the most recent one, i was out on an errand to a grocery store on halloween night. i had forgotten what day it was and was wondering why the grocery store was so empty and dark. it just so happened that the store was turned into a haunted house for the night with all kinds of scary surprises. i woke up just as i was running away from two people with scary masks on.
too many sunday afternoon b-movies you say? maybe, although i'm not in the habit of watching much tv these days. i have had one or two mixed in that have had nothing to do with running away or escaping. i had one this morning where i was eating dinner and all of a sudden the setting i was in turned either into a karaoke bar or a musical. well, i did happen to catch a few minutes of moulin rouge the other day...
in one i was in some futuristic outlaw motorcycle gang where i needed to escape both the police and the gang i double crossed by getting off an island. i woke up as i was approaching a rising drawbridge at full speed in an attempt to jump over it.
in another, i was again in a futuristic outlaw motorcycle gang where i needed to escape some island, but this time by jumping off the end of a pier onto the departing ferry. i seem to remember that all the passengers on this ferry were women standing outside on the deck waiting to see if i made it or drowned.
in the most recent one, i was out on an errand to a grocery store on halloween night. i had forgotten what day it was and was wondering why the grocery store was so empty and dark. it just so happened that the store was turned into a haunted house for the night with all kinds of scary surprises. i woke up just as i was running away from two people with scary masks on.
too many sunday afternoon b-movies you say? maybe, although i'm not in the habit of watching much tv these days. i have had one or two mixed in that have had nothing to do with running away or escaping. i had one this morning where i was eating dinner and all of a sudden the setting i was in turned either into a karaoke bar or a musical. well, i did happen to catch a few minutes of moulin rouge the other day...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
will power
at this very moment, i'm having a contest of will power with my brother. i hear the doorbell ringing rapidly. it must be my mom out front. it must be that my brother locked the front door on the way in. i hear him in his room playing guitar and i know he can hear the doorbell too. if i stay quiet, i can pretend i'm asleep and he'll naturally have to stop what he's doing and open the door.
...
score one point for me.
---
it is crazy hot outside which means there's no point in going out unless i intend to drive my car somewhere. if you wait until the evening to go out walking, you get mauled by mosquitoes. i've spent the last few days hiding from all of this in my room and when i haven't been napping or reading or otherwise neglecting some matter of importance, i've been digging up my old pictures and making digital copies of them so that i'll be able to see them when i'm in taiwan. i don't have a scanner so i've resorted to using my digital camera to take pictures of the prints with some interesting results.
the original pictures were taken with a cheap disposable film camera and printed on the cheapest photo paper. there are few pictures where anything is in focus and where any colors look remotely natural. taking a picture of the prints didn't do much to help the focus or tint, but the pictures came out with a nice flat quality reminding me of old posters or 1950s ads. it was a tedious process, but at least i have some copies of my old photos.
i got a call from one of my recruiters this week about a job in the bay area for which i'm not even remotely qualified for. i gave it a try though just to so i could say with a clear conscience that i haven't been dodging responsible work on purpose and got a rejection letter within two days. all in all, i've been contacted for three jobs in 2009 which have come to naught. i haven't been looking myself, but i figure if the professional job hunters can't find any job leads for me, then it's a safe conclusion that jobs are just hard to come by this year.
while packing, i've also dug out a bunch of textbooks that have been sitting in boxes since i've been moving so much this year. i was even able to sell one within a week on amazon. my first income since february! hopefully i can sell a few more before i leave.
...
score one point for me.
---
it is crazy hot outside which means there's no point in going out unless i intend to drive my car somewhere. if you wait until the evening to go out walking, you get mauled by mosquitoes. i've spent the last few days hiding from all of this in my room and when i haven't been napping or reading or otherwise neglecting some matter of importance, i've been digging up my old pictures and making digital copies of them so that i'll be able to see them when i'm in taiwan. i don't have a scanner so i've resorted to using my digital camera to take pictures of the prints with some interesting results.
the original pictures were taken with a cheap disposable film camera and printed on the cheapest photo paper. there are few pictures where anything is in focus and where any colors look remotely natural. taking a picture of the prints didn't do much to help the focus or tint, but the pictures came out with a nice flat quality reminding me of old posters or 1950s ads. it was a tedious process, but at least i have some copies of my old photos.i got a call from one of my recruiters this week about a job in the bay area for which i'm not even remotely qualified for. i gave it a try though just to so i could say with a clear conscience that i haven't been dodging responsible work on purpose and got a rejection letter within two days. all in all, i've been contacted for three jobs in 2009 which have come to naught. i haven't been looking myself, but i figure if the professional job hunters can't find any job leads for me, then it's a safe conclusion that jobs are just hard to come by this year.
while packing, i've also dug out a bunch of textbooks that have been sitting in boxes since i've been moving so much this year. i was even able to sell one within a week on amazon. my first income since february! hopefully i can sell a few more before i leave.
Monday, June 1, 2009
can't sleep
i'm having some trouble sleeping these days. at first i thought it was because the heat these days makes me feel like staying home and napping all day, but today i had a very nice swim and still i'm having a hard time sleeping. the remaining explanation is that i have a lot of new things on my mind.
having finally told everyone about my plan to leave has set in motion a whole bunch of other activity that i was hoping against all reasonable hope that i wouldn't have to handle as well, but there it is. so in the next few months, not only am i preparing to leave the country, but i'm also helping my family to sell our house. fortunately i don't have to handle this all by myself, but for the time being it still weighs on me.
the decision to sell the house has been a poignant reminder of how fleeting everything is. given that, it's also been a reminder of how important it is to be self sufficient. in all my life, i'm the only one who'll be there from start to finish. everyone and everything else comes and goes and there's nothing else but to accept that.
all that aside, last week seems to have been a pretty productive week at handling these things. this week is a little less urgent and with more momentum. hopefully i can put my mind at ease and start to sleep well again.
having finally told everyone about my plan to leave has set in motion a whole bunch of other activity that i was hoping against all reasonable hope that i wouldn't have to handle as well, but there it is. so in the next few months, not only am i preparing to leave the country, but i'm also helping my family to sell our house. fortunately i don't have to handle this all by myself, but for the time being it still weighs on me.
the decision to sell the house has been a poignant reminder of how fleeting everything is. given that, it's also been a reminder of how important it is to be self sufficient. in all my life, i'm the only one who'll be there from start to finish. everyone and everything else comes and goes and there's nothing else but to accept that.
all that aside, last week seems to have been a pretty productive week at handling these things. this week is a little less urgent and with more momentum. hopefully i can put my mind at ease and start to sleep well again.
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