okay, so after watching more macgyver episodes in the last few days than i should admit to, i started thinking about what odd situations i've been in that i had to find creative solutions for.
one time i had to break into a parking lot to get a car. whose car? my friend's car. why did i have to break into a parking lot to get it? we were in fremont and parked the car at a 24 hour fitness before getting on the BART into san francisco. when we came back that night, we found that the parking lot had been emptied except for two cars, one of them being ours. why was the parking lot empty? because a construction crew had put up a chain link fence around it with the intention of resurfacing the parking lot the next day. there was a sign on the chain link fence warning people to get their cars out by midnight or they would be towed. we came at 3 am. well, they hadn't towed the car, but we still had the problem of getting to it.
i didn't want to call the construction company because it would probably just bring the tow truck driver and a $200 fee for getting the car back. we walked around the whole fence looking for a break in the links but found none. after walking the whole perimeter, we returned to what should have been the entrance and i happened to notice that at that segment in the fence, there was a part missing. all the other segments had these rectangle feet that served to hold up that particular section. at this segment, that foot was missing. i took a closer look and saw there was a metal piece, shaped like a figure eight, that connected the two segments together. i gave it a little yank and it moved! if i pulled it all the way off, i could open the segment like a door and we could drive our car out.
now that we had a way in, we had to have a quick plan. we'd probaby have a hard time explaining to a police officer why we were disassembling a fence on private property. the plan was this: i would open the fence while my friend quickly went in, started the car and drove it back to me. i would open the fence all the way while she drove it out, then i would close the fence back up, put the figure eight piece back, get in the car, and nobody would know we opened it up. sounds good right? we got as far as opening the fence and her driving out, but not before the security guard for the 24 hour fitness came by and saw i was waiting by the fence to close it up again. i didn't have to explain anything, he guessed pretty quickly that we had parked there for the BART and gotten stuck. he was pretty understanding and said just as long as we closed it back up, he didn't have a problem. so, out she came, i closed up the fence, and we went home.
i know, i didn't make any batteries or explosives or lockpicks, but i'm still satisfied at cheating the towing company out of $200. we cheated BART too. why did we park at 24 hour fitness in the first place? we didn't want to pay $1 for parking at the train station.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
cleanup
having resolved to head home next week has put me in a good mood today. i didn't do any packing, but i did do some cleanup around the apartment. the next major thing i have to take care of is to get my car ready for the drive back. 1000 miles, give or take a few hundred depending on which way i go, but at least i'm in no hurry to get there. i'm planning on paying a visit to my friend james in el paso for a few days before i get back to houston. i'll have to remember to get a car wash so i'll be less likely to get hasseled by the border patrol again.
this week went by quick once i stopped trying to pack so much into each day. maybe i'm starting to get the hang of this.
this week went by quick once i stopped trying to pack so much into each day. maybe i'm starting to get the hang of this.
Friday, January 30, 2009
cabin fever
it just occurred to me that i should start packing up. i'm getting more impatient to go home these days. i had the idea that i might stick around and see what there is here but i haven't been all that motivated to go anywhere. i think i'm quite satisfied and i won't feel any regret if i leave next week. i think the lesson i learned is that if i ever do this again, i should go explore and have fun as i'm doing my job instead of waiting for the end because i'll just be tired and want to head home at that point.
i've been getting a number of calls this week from friends and family wondering when i'm heading back. it's kind of nice for people to remember i'm not there. i guess i've always had this odd thought that i was invisible, that if i didn't say a word or regularly appear, people would cease to remember that i ever existed. i remember as a kid when my parents came to check if i was asleep, i would pretend to be sleeping, but then open my eyes a little to see if they were still there. somehow i thought that they wouldn't be able to tell that my eyes were open. but of course people notice you and remember you or ignore you and forget you regardless of what you think.
i've been getting a number of calls this week from friends and family wondering when i'm heading back. it's kind of nice for people to remember i'm not there. i guess i've always had this odd thought that i was invisible, that if i didn't say a word or regularly appear, people would cease to remember that i ever existed. i remember as a kid when my parents came to check if i was asleep, i would pretend to be sleeping, but then open my eyes a little to see if they were still there. somehow i thought that they wouldn't be able to tell that my eyes were open. but of course people notice you and remember you or ignore you and forget you regardless of what you think.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
maniac magee
last night i was laying on the floor and trying very hard to figure out where this faint rumbling sound was coming from. it wasn't the air conditioner. there isn't an air conditioner here. it wasn't the refrigerator. i already knew what that sounds like. it wasn't the space heater or the dripping in my bathroom. it wasn't coming from the place next door because it's been vacant all month.
after five or ten minutes of laying absolutely still and concentrating on this sound, i wasn't any closer to figuring it out until i heard a train whistle. it must have been a train passing by. i have no evidence but that's the only way i can explain why it had the same sound for such a long time. the closest train tracks to me must be more than a mile away. they run next to the freeway. in between here and there is a university, a park, and maybe ten blocks of neighborhood streets with large two story houses or churches.
it's kind of amazing how a sound that can travel so far is so ignorable and undetectable until you sit and concentrate on it for a few minutes. even then, i needed the hint of a train whistle. airplanes are the same way too. i was in utah a few years ago at arches national park and i remember the blue sky filled with vapor trail crossings. i remember hearing five or six planes in one afternoon and watching each of them add their mark to what should have been undisturbed sky. in cities, i guess this sort of thing is part of our aural vocabulary and is undetectable or otherwise unremarkable, but was inescapable being out in a national park. i imagine if i were a fish in the middle of the ocean with no shores for waves to break on, the passing of oil tankers and cargo ships would be even more invasive unless fish have the same ability to filter things as background noise that we do.
i was reading my book this afternoon at a coffee shop and two different women walked past me wearing heeled shoes. the earth moved as they walked past me in those shoes. i felt the sky tumbling down... just kidding. they were tall but they couldn't have weighed much more than me and i don't make the ground shake when i walk. i'm actually pretty careful when i walk. i don't like the sound of shoes scraping on the sidewalk. i try to walk so that the only sound is a little creak from where my shoes bend. i wonder if there's a quiet graceful way to walk in heels or if the point is to stamp the ground and attract attention. i guess men's dress shoes are the same way. i've never found a quiet graceful way to walk in those. i imagine women's heels must be much harder. three cheers for tennis shoes.
after five or ten minutes of laying absolutely still and concentrating on this sound, i wasn't any closer to figuring it out until i heard a train whistle. it must have been a train passing by. i have no evidence but that's the only way i can explain why it had the same sound for such a long time. the closest train tracks to me must be more than a mile away. they run next to the freeway. in between here and there is a university, a park, and maybe ten blocks of neighborhood streets with large two story houses or churches.
it's kind of amazing how a sound that can travel so far is so ignorable and undetectable until you sit and concentrate on it for a few minutes. even then, i needed the hint of a train whistle. airplanes are the same way too. i was in utah a few years ago at arches national park and i remember the blue sky filled with vapor trail crossings. i remember hearing five or six planes in one afternoon and watching each of them add their mark to what should have been undisturbed sky. in cities, i guess this sort of thing is part of our aural vocabulary and is undetectable or otherwise unremarkable, but was inescapable being out in a national park. i imagine if i were a fish in the middle of the ocean with no shores for waves to break on, the passing of oil tankers and cargo ships would be even more invasive unless fish have the same ability to filter things as background noise that we do.
i was reading my book this afternoon at a coffee shop and two different women walked past me wearing heeled shoes. the earth moved as they walked past me in those shoes. i felt the sky tumbling down... just kidding. they were tall but they couldn't have weighed much more than me and i don't make the ground shake when i walk. i'm actually pretty careful when i walk. i don't like the sound of shoes scraping on the sidewalk. i try to walk so that the only sound is a little creak from where my shoes bend. i wonder if there's a quiet graceful way to walk in heels or if the point is to stamp the ground and attract attention. i guess men's dress shoes are the same way. i've never found a quiet graceful way to walk in those. i imagine women's heels must be much harder. three cheers for tennis shoes.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
oh heathcliff
it only took a week of unemployment for my sleeping pattern to get screwed up. i've shifted three hours ahead so that i wake at noon and sleep around three in the morning. afternoon coffee is probably not helping.
i'm on to chapter five of orlando and she has just emerged into the nineteenth century some three hundred years from when she was a he and said "hey man, take a walk on the wild side". i like how the century is introduced as being pervasively damp. a poke at dickens or emily bronte maybe? it's been years since i read either of them but this cloudy damp gloomy image of england certainly reminds me of them. and now i'm laughing a little when i think of monty python's semaphore version of wuthering heights.
today was certainly not damp or gloomy. instead it was cold but sunny. while i was waiting for my laundry, i walked over to the deli next door and tried as gracefully as possible to eat a cheeseburger and read my book at the same time. to further complicate things, i went to sit at a counter next to some guy on this laptop and nearly fell out of the chair as i was moving it. the combination of counter and stools at the deli is terrible. sitting on the stool, the counter has about two inches of clearance above your lap so that your food is barely above your navel. trying to rest my elbows on the counter while eating or holding up my book proved terribly awkward and setting the book on the counter put it too far away to read comfortably. so, the counter did nothing but hold the plate. i had to hold my book in the air as well as my cheeseburger.
i'm on to chapter five of orlando and she has just emerged into the nineteenth century some three hundred years from when she was a he and said "hey man, take a walk on the wild side". i like how the century is introduced as being pervasively damp. a poke at dickens or emily bronte maybe? it's been years since i read either of them but this cloudy damp gloomy image of england certainly reminds me of them. and now i'm laughing a little when i think of monty python's semaphore version of wuthering heights.
today was certainly not damp or gloomy. instead it was cold but sunny. while i was waiting for my laundry, i walked over to the deli next door and tried as gracefully as possible to eat a cheeseburger and read my book at the same time. to further complicate things, i went to sit at a counter next to some guy on this laptop and nearly fell out of the chair as i was moving it. the combination of counter and stools at the deli is terrible. sitting on the stool, the counter has about two inches of clearance above your lap so that your food is barely above your navel. trying to rest my elbows on the counter while eating or holding up my book proved terribly awkward and setting the book on the counter put it too far away to read comfortably. so, the counter did nothing but hold the plate. i had to hold my book in the air as well as my cheeseburger.
Monday, January 26, 2009
sitting still
it's been incredibly cold today. i had my afternoon coffee and instead of reading or writing or working on anything, i stared out the window for an hour or so and watched the snow fall. the last few times i've gone out i made it a point to just sit and relax. it seems a majority of people, myself included, show up at a coffee house with laptops, books, iphones, ipods, or pen and paper with the intention of getting some work done. i thought it would be nice to just have coffee and stretch out on a chair.
i know cigarettes are unfashionable these days, but the good comment i can make is that you never see anyone take a smoke break and carry out their laptop or bring out a textbook. iphones maybe. cellphones usually. but my point is that nobody goes out to have a cigarette with the intention of getting work done. why is it that i go out for coffee and tea and feel like i have to be occupied with work? the other good point about cigarettes is that people are usually generous and strangers will bum you a smoke or a light but no stranger will share their latte with you.
when i was a student at UH, i had the occasional habit to smoke a cigarette with my classmate to take a break from studying electromagnetic fields or whatever class we had at the time. yes, cigarettes are bad for you, but three or four minutes of smoking followed by ten minutes of fresh air and sunshine can't be all that bad, especially if you're studying in an asbestos-ridden old engineering building. before i started joining him, my break was to stand up, stretch, and read something else. not much of a break for the eyes. at my last job, our breakroom was full of magazines and newspapers that i would read. why do we always have to stuff something into our heads? towards the end of my contract, i started going out to the porch and just staring at the mountain. just for five or ten minutes. i never saw anyone else out there except people who came out to have a cigarette.
on my last day, i sat out there with my colleague for an hour. when we went out, he was afraid we were going to be locked out. he'd been there six months and never bothered to go out that door.
i know cigarettes are unfashionable these days, but the good comment i can make is that you never see anyone take a smoke break and carry out their laptop or bring out a textbook. iphones maybe. cellphones usually. but my point is that nobody goes out to have a cigarette with the intention of getting work done. why is it that i go out for coffee and tea and feel like i have to be occupied with work? the other good point about cigarettes is that people are usually generous and strangers will bum you a smoke or a light but no stranger will share their latte with you.
when i was a student at UH, i had the occasional habit to smoke a cigarette with my classmate to take a break from studying electromagnetic fields or whatever class we had at the time. yes, cigarettes are bad for you, but three or four minutes of smoking followed by ten minutes of fresh air and sunshine can't be all that bad, especially if you're studying in an asbestos-ridden old engineering building. before i started joining him, my break was to stand up, stretch, and read something else. not much of a break for the eyes. at my last job, our breakroom was full of magazines and newspapers that i would read. why do we always have to stuff something into our heads? towards the end of my contract, i started going out to the porch and just staring at the mountain. just for five or ten minutes. i never saw anyone else out there except people who came out to have a cigarette.
on my last day, i sat out there with my colleague for an hour. when we went out, he was afraid we were going to be locked out. he'd been there six months and never bothered to go out that door.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
the truth is out there
yesterday i spent a couple hours having some more fun with sound. after having a drink of water in the kitchen, i was putting the bottle away when i clumsily banged it against the metal rack. it made a loud ruckus followed by a hollow vibration which echoed throughout the refrigerator. i thought "what a wonderful sound" and brought over my laptop to record it. i think i overdid the banging the second time because it redlined the volume meter as i recorded it. after some playing around, i got it to sound something like an explosion.
my refrigerator makes all sorts of interesting noises. the other night when i couldn't sleep, i heard the motor turn on and recorded that with my laptop as well. it was a bit faint, but it served as some good ambient noise in a clip i worked on yesterday. i started with this pulsing drone sound i got out of a synthesizer and adding in the refrigerator underneath it gave it a little more life. i took a clip of mulder and scully and spent an hour or so reprocessing it. i took the background music out, which left them sounding like they were talking in a glass bottle, and then eq'd and filtered it to put some life back into it. in the end i had a clip starting with an explosion, then some echoing dripping (a gift from the bathroom faucet) with some pulsing background droning, and scully calling mulder crazy.
i've been looking for full length x-files episodes on you tube but no luck. it's just you and me macgyver.
my refrigerator makes all sorts of interesting noises. the other night when i couldn't sleep, i heard the motor turn on and recorded that with my laptop as well. it was a bit faint, but it served as some good ambient noise in a clip i worked on yesterday. i started with this pulsing drone sound i got out of a synthesizer and adding in the refrigerator underneath it gave it a little more life. i took a clip of mulder and scully and spent an hour or so reprocessing it. i took the background music out, which left them sounding like they were talking in a glass bottle, and then eq'd and filtered it to put some life back into it. in the end i had a clip starting with an explosion, then some echoing dripping (a gift from the bathroom faucet) with some pulsing background droning, and scully calling mulder crazy.
i've been looking for full length x-files episodes on you tube but no luck. it's just you and me macgyver.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
do you hear that?
what sound does the earth make as it turns? is it a rumble too deep to hear and too light to feel? or is it a gentle whisper mistaken for white noise? i read the first question in a book yesterday and it presented itself to me last night while waiting for sleep to come.
as i sit here, i'm bombarded with a symphony of odd noises that are deafening when trying to sleep. the creaking of the space heater in front of me. the motor of the refrigerator. the dripping of the shower head onto my curtain. the passing of a truck a block away. the settling of the lid on the toilet. how can one sleep, let alone think, read, or hear the earth turning amidst so much?
the reason i go out and sit in coffee shops every afternoon is because with all the noise there, it takes a certain amount of effort to isolate each one and fixate on it, so in the end it all washes out and allows me to focus on something else. i suppose that's why they play music in grocery stores. maybe the sound of carts squeaking and footsteps pacing was driving the cashiers nuts. i've walked into bookstores without any music playing and it sounds like you've walked into a church and every shuffle reverberates even though the floors are carpeted. do they still play music in grocery stores? i'll have to listen next time. the last time the thought occurred to me, i was being taught about the ethics of putting in subliminal advertising into the in-store play.
what about the voice in your head as you think to yourself? has it always sounded the same? did the voice in my head get deeper as i grew older? is the only way to think to yourself by speaking? do others see sentences instead, like a novel or newspaper, or pictures even? i read an essay by richard feynman some years ago and he recounted a story about how he could count to himself and accurately tell when a minute had gone by as long as he didn't talk out loud. he would run up stairs, read a newspaper, but he couldn't talk. his friend was just the opposite. his friend could talk and tell when a minute had gone by, but he couldn't read. it turns out feynman was mentally speaking to himself as he counted one to sixty while his friend was watching a series of numbers slide by as he was talking. as long as the activity didn't interfere with their method of counting, they could tell a minute had gone by.
i used to play drums and i'm not sure how i kept time. maybe my bandmates might say i didn't, hahaha. seriously though, at moments in songs where we'd all stop playing and then come in at the same time without anyone taking the role of conductor, it's amazing it ever happened. i think the pre-performance drinks put us all on the same wavelength.
as i sit here, i'm bombarded with a symphony of odd noises that are deafening when trying to sleep. the creaking of the space heater in front of me. the motor of the refrigerator. the dripping of the shower head onto my curtain. the passing of a truck a block away. the settling of the lid on the toilet. how can one sleep, let alone think, read, or hear the earth turning amidst so much?
the reason i go out and sit in coffee shops every afternoon is because with all the noise there, it takes a certain amount of effort to isolate each one and fixate on it, so in the end it all washes out and allows me to focus on something else. i suppose that's why they play music in grocery stores. maybe the sound of carts squeaking and footsteps pacing was driving the cashiers nuts. i've walked into bookstores without any music playing and it sounds like you've walked into a church and every shuffle reverberates even though the floors are carpeted. do they still play music in grocery stores? i'll have to listen next time. the last time the thought occurred to me, i was being taught about the ethics of putting in subliminal advertising into the in-store play.
what about the voice in your head as you think to yourself? has it always sounded the same? did the voice in my head get deeper as i grew older? is the only way to think to yourself by speaking? do others see sentences instead, like a novel or newspaper, or pictures even? i read an essay by richard feynman some years ago and he recounted a story about how he could count to himself and accurately tell when a minute had gone by as long as he didn't talk out loud. he would run up stairs, read a newspaper, but he couldn't talk. his friend was just the opposite. his friend could talk and tell when a minute had gone by, but he couldn't read. it turns out feynman was mentally speaking to himself as he counted one to sixty while his friend was watching a series of numbers slide by as he was talking. as long as the activity didn't interfere with their method of counting, they could tell a minute had gone by.
i used to play drums and i'm not sure how i kept time. maybe my bandmates might say i didn't, hahaha. seriously though, at moments in songs where we'd all stop playing and then come in at the same time without anyone taking the role of conductor, it's amazing it ever happened. i think the pre-performance drinks put us all on the same wavelength.
Friday, January 23, 2009
you're movin way too fast
i've been missing a lot of sleep for someone who doesn't have to work anymore. i was up until 4am last night and only managed five hours of sleep until the sunlight coming in through my windows woke me.
i sort of feel like i've rushed through the last three days so that i've packed a week's worth of leisure time in without getting a week's worth of sleep. now i'm wondering why i thought i'd need three weeks to hang around up here after my job ended. i think i'm still figuring out how to transition out of a frantic pace and into something more sustainable.
a friend of mine once bought me a book called "slowing down to the pace of life". she had the right idea, but i didn't read more than a few pages into it, such was my appetite for constant engagement. i'd like to revisit it when i get home.
i sort of feel like i've rushed through the last three days so that i've packed a week's worth of leisure time in without getting a week's worth of sleep. now i'm wondering why i thought i'd need three weeks to hang around up here after my job ended. i think i'm still figuring out how to transition out of a frantic pace and into something more sustainable.
a friend of mine once bought me a book called "slowing down to the pace of life". she had the right idea, but i didn't read more than a few pages into it, such was my appetite for constant engagement. i'd like to revisit it when i get home.
progress report
so how am i doing on the second day of my unemployment? not too bad. i'm happy to say i didn't watch a single macgyver episode today. i got up before noon and went swimming for the first time in a few weeks. i sort of miss my old apartment in houston. it had a small pool pretty much at my doorstep and last summer i used to swim three or four times a week. the nice thing was that i usually had it to myself and i could shower in my own bath instead of a public one.
after swimming, i sat in another coffee shop this afternoon to work on some beats i started on last night. i was up late last night and stumbled on the magic settings to get things sounding like they have some dimension instead of being so flat. before that, my beats had the presence of a soundtrack from a sega genesis game with everything front and center. i added the clip i did the other day of some dripping water and some dissonant notes which added even more space. this was another happy accident. i was just intending on figuring out how to make an audio clip breathe in time to some beats and i used that clip because i had it lying around and it happened to fit really nicely.
tomorrow i think i'll take it easy and do my reading while i do some laundry. i wonder if anyone would think it was weird if i started showing up in the laundromat just to read. one coffee or tea a day has suddenly become expensive. besides, they usually have some national geographic magazines to flip through. really, i just like to take a walk, get out of my place, sit in a chair, and have some ambient noise around me while i read. the park might be another good idea but there always seems to be some idiot on a thunderous motorcycle driving by at 20mph or worse, making all that noise while stopped at a red light.
after swimming, i sat in another coffee shop this afternoon to work on some beats i started on last night. i was up late last night and stumbled on the magic settings to get things sounding like they have some dimension instead of being so flat. before that, my beats had the presence of a soundtrack from a sega genesis game with everything front and center. i added the clip i did the other day of some dripping water and some dissonant notes which added even more space. this was another happy accident. i was just intending on figuring out how to make an audio clip breathe in time to some beats and i used that clip because i had it lying around and it happened to fit really nicely.
tomorrow i think i'll take it easy and do my reading while i do some laundry. i wonder if anyone would think it was weird if i started showing up in the laundromat just to read. one coffee or tea a day has suddenly become expensive. besides, they usually have some national geographic magazines to flip through. really, i just like to take a walk, get out of my place, sit in a chair, and have some ambient noise around me while i read. the park might be another good idea but there always seems to be some idiot on a thunderous motorcycle driving by at 20mph or worse, making all that noise while stopped at a red light.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
with the radio on
i took another walk this afternoon to have some tea and read a book. walking out every day is nice exercise and it gets me away from the computer. having discovered macgyver on you tube, i might as well have gone out and bought a tv because i'll find myself watching two or three episodes in a row which amounts to two or three hours of being a floor potato, an even more pitiful cousin of the couch potato. shame on me.
i came home after having some dinner but it was still early and i didn't want to waste any more time on the internet, so i went out driving around. i actually found a way to drive for about an hour and not leave the town. it turns out colorado springs grows east and west instead of north and south along the freeway. i took turns down roads i didn't know and really lost my sense of direction until i found some streets i recognized and found my way back home.
driving around at night and listening to music while getting lost is an old habit of mine. my mom told me that when i was a little kid and i couldn't sleep, she'd take me out driving, put on some country music, and i'd be out like a light. i haven't kept the country music part, but i find it very relaxing to just wander and have a cd on. i wonder if in a previous life i was a gypsy who lived out of a wagon and played the violin by the campfire before going to bed.
i came home after having some dinner but it was still early and i didn't want to waste any more time on the internet, so i went out driving around. i actually found a way to drive for about an hour and not leave the town. it turns out colorado springs grows east and west instead of north and south along the freeway. i took turns down roads i didn't know and really lost my sense of direction until i found some streets i recognized and found my way back home.
driving around at night and listening to music while getting lost is an old habit of mine. my mom told me that when i was a little kid and i couldn't sleep, she'd take me out driving, put on some country music, and i'd be out like a light. i haven't kept the country music part, but i find it very relaxing to just wander and have a cd on. i wonder if in a previous life i was a gypsy who lived out of a wagon and played the violin by the campfire before going to bed.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
the princess is in another castle
i made it! today was the last day of my contract and for having done absolutely nothing that's worthy of being paid money for, i've had a really long day. my day started by showing up about half an hour late to work and then chatting with my colleague until almost lunch time. having fulfilled our deadline last week, there wasn't much for either of us to do and the two people who work there full time were out of the office today. as they say, when the cat is away, the mice will play.
following about thirty minutes of writing last emails, faxing in my timesheets, and reading about obama's inauguration, my colleague and i set out for lunch at buffalo wild wings for $0.40 wings. we sat there for another hour and a half making fun of the inauguration ceremonies like all good cynical smart asses should and then headed back to work. is it me or does the presidential limo look like an awfully slow, long, diesel powered substitute for the batmobile? sorry, i was one of those who'd show up at high school pep rallys and make fun of football players and cheerleaders with the potheads.
it seems everyone else thought my last day was supposed to be the end of the month. according to the papers i signed, the contract was to start on 10/20/08 for a duration of 3 months, which by my understanding means that today was the last day. in any case, i walked out of work today with nothing but a big smile on my face. no papers, no notes, not even any stolen office supplies.
after getting home, i took a walk downtown to have some tea and write a little bit. then, i stopped into a restaurant i've been meaning to check out and had an overpriced slice of pizza. i think i can safely say that the only two cities in the US worth buying pizza by the slice are new york and chicago. next, i went down to the bookstore to pick up virgina woolf's "orlando" as part of the new writing project i have with my friend i-shuan. it's something like a book club except we're going to write an essay before we have our discussion. i think it will be really interesting to compare notes. it will be like an east meets west sort of thing that i expect to be fun and enlightening.
after doing some somewhat intelligent activities this afternoon, i went back to buffalo wild wings to get a little stupid and celebrate my new unemployment. i met josh up there again and some new friends named keith and shawn (with a "w"). i don't know keith's story, but shawn is an ex-army guy who's been in korea, texas, taiwan, iraq, and somehow ended up in this one horse town because of a girlfriend he eventually broke up with. honestly, i don't think i've met anyone originally from this place. they all seem to have made some sort of compromise to end up here.
having met so many nice people while drinking, i've been invited to new year's in denver, skiing in breckenridge, and a birthday party for some guy i don't know. i skipped out on new year's, but i think i'm going to take up the other two offers. after all, everyone i've met so far is new here and just trying to meet friends, so why be so anti-social?
following about thirty minutes of writing last emails, faxing in my timesheets, and reading about obama's inauguration, my colleague and i set out for lunch at buffalo wild wings for $0.40 wings. we sat there for another hour and a half making fun of the inauguration ceremonies like all good cynical smart asses should and then headed back to work. is it me or does the presidential limo look like an awfully slow, long, diesel powered substitute for the batmobile? sorry, i was one of those who'd show up at high school pep rallys and make fun of football players and cheerleaders with the potheads.
it seems everyone else thought my last day was supposed to be the end of the month. according to the papers i signed, the contract was to start on 10/20/08 for a duration of 3 months, which by my understanding means that today was the last day. in any case, i walked out of work today with nothing but a big smile on my face. no papers, no notes, not even any stolen office supplies.
after getting home, i took a walk downtown to have some tea and write a little bit. then, i stopped into a restaurant i've been meaning to check out and had an overpriced slice of pizza. i think i can safely say that the only two cities in the US worth buying pizza by the slice are new york and chicago. next, i went down to the bookstore to pick up virgina woolf's "orlando" as part of the new writing project i have with my friend i-shuan. it's something like a book club except we're going to write an essay before we have our discussion. i think it will be really interesting to compare notes. it will be like an east meets west sort of thing that i expect to be fun and enlightening.
after doing some somewhat intelligent activities this afternoon, i went back to buffalo wild wings to get a little stupid and celebrate my new unemployment. i met josh up there again and some new friends named keith and shawn (with a "w"). i don't know keith's story, but shawn is an ex-army guy who's been in korea, texas, taiwan, iraq, and somehow ended up in this one horse town because of a girlfriend he eventually broke up with. honestly, i don't think i've met anyone originally from this place. they all seem to have made some sort of compromise to end up here.
having met so many nice people while drinking, i've been invited to new year's in denver, skiing in breckenridge, and a birthday party for some guy i don't know. i skipped out on new year's, but i think i'm going to take up the other two offers. after all, everyone i've met so far is new here and just trying to meet friends, so why be so anti-social?
Monday, January 19, 2009
review
i love three day weekends. there is something so enjoyable about being out during business hours on a weekday. after tomorrow, i can be out during business hours every day! i hope i can learn how to enjoy it without becoming bored too quickly. i've always had to be occupied with something or i would start thinking too much. i'd like to try to just enjoy some time off without having to have plans or goals for it.
today i had some coffee and went over my journal entries. i started keeping a journal when i first got here so that i could keep track of all that happened while working away from home. it took me a while, but i read all my entries for november. it's kind of amazing to see how i progressed from excitement to anxiety and frustration, in overall terms, and sometimes from day to day. the first two weeks of november, i was in pretty good spirits, but as my birthday approached, i started writing more and more about how i didn't want to work, how i didn't know what i was doing, all of the usual stuff that seems to incapacitate me this time of year. this culminated in alternating days of hope and anxiety for the last week of november. i didn't even make it into my december entries, but it was kind of a wreck as i remember. actually, i didn't start to come out of it until i started writing this.
having read those entries, it's kind of nice to know that, despite feeling pretty bad some of those days, i'm still here and in good shape more or less. not only that, it's nice to know that i had some pretty good moments in the midst of all my worrying and that i had the support of my friends throughout. i wrote a good entry about how my old bandmates called and sang happy birthday to me even though it was on the wrong day. they were crushed when i told them, but they called again the following week.
i think if i had not kept track, it would be easy to only remember those weeks as a gradual descent instead of seeing that it was really more like the random walk of a drunk who eventually finds his way home.
today i had some coffee and went over my journal entries. i started keeping a journal when i first got here so that i could keep track of all that happened while working away from home. it took me a while, but i read all my entries for november. it's kind of amazing to see how i progressed from excitement to anxiety and frustration, in overall terms, and sometimes from day to day. the first two weeks of november, i was in pretty good spirits, but as my birthday approached, i started writing more and more about how i didn't want to work, how i didn't know what i was doing, all of the usual stuff that seems to incapacitate me this time of year. this culminated in alternating days of hope and anxiety for the last week of november. i didn't even make it into my december entries, but it was kind of a wreck as i remember. actually, i didn't start to come out of it until i started writing this.
having read those entries, it's kind of nice to know that, despite feeling pretty bad some of those days, i'm still here and in good shape more or less. not only that, it's nice to know that i had some pretty good moments in the midst of all my worrying and that i had the support of my friends throughout. i wrote a good entry about how my old bandmates called and sang happy birthday to me even though it was on the wrong day. they were crushed when i told them, but they called again the following week.
i think if i had not kept track, it would be easy to only remember those weeks as a gradual descent instead of seeing that it was really more like the random walk of a drunk who eventually finds his way home.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
teenage mutant ninja turtles
i had a nice warm afternoon. i took a walk again and went though the college down the street from here. i actually saw people out playing frisbee and reading books on a blanket in the grass. where has everyone been the last three months?
i did some more walking in back alleys in downtown. i found a motel with an old sign on the wall:
that's comforting.
after i came home, i had some fun recording the sound of the dripping faucet in my bathroom. add a little reverb and i had it sounding like dripping echoing through a long tunnel. i turned it into something you might hear in a movie as some group of explorers are approaching something they're going to have to run away from.
i think tomorrow is a holiday at work, so really i only have one day left. then i'm finished!
i did some more walking in back alleys in downtown. i found a motel with an old sign on the wall:
that's comforting.
after i came home, i had some fun recording the sound of the dripping faucet in my bathroom. add a little reverb and i had it sounding like dripping echoing through a long tunnel. i turned it into something you might hear in a movie as some group of explorers are approaching something they're going to have to run away from.
i think tomorrow is a holiday at work, so really i only have one day left. then i'm finished!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
life is elsewhere
i went for a walk this afternoon and i actually saw people outside. recently i've even started to see houses with lights on. i suppose it's because all the houses around here are rented out to students at the college down the street. that would explain why they were all dark on new year's eve. everyone with some more interesting place to be on new year's was there leaving me with a ten block radius all to my self.
i woke up this afternoon around 1pm after staying up until 3am last night watching old macgyver episodes. that was my favorite show when i was a kid. after watching some shows last night, i'm a little embarrased. i guess people who watch television these days are a little more sophisticated than they were twenty years ago. one episode i watched had him robbing a casino where the difficult part was getting past the single security camera in front of the penthouse door. at the end of the episode, he rigged up a parachute to his car and drove it off a cargo plane in midflight. perfectly balanced and everything. i guess things are always better when you remember them. good thing nobody is following me around with a camera. i can still embellish on the daily mediocrity when i look back as an old man. as long as i don't write too many boring details about my current life in here...
i woke up this afternoon around 1pm after staying up until 3am last night watching old macgyver episodes. that was my favorite show when i was a kid. after watching some shows last night, i'm a little embarrased. i guess people who watch television these days are a little more sophisticated than they were twenty years ago. one episode i watched had him robbing a casino where the difficult part was getting past the single security camera in front of the penthouse door. at the end of the episode, he rigged up a parachute to his car and drove it off a cargo plane in midflight. perfectly balanced and everything. i guess things are always better when you remember them. good thing nobody is following me around with a camera. i can still embellish on the daily mediocrity when i look back as an old man. as long as i don't write too many boring details about my current life in here...
nerd alert
at the risk of sounding awfully nerdy, i was excited to find that cbs has posted a whole bunch of full length macgyver episodes on youtube. even more exciting: full length episodes of the charlie rose show. i watched his interview with bjork from seven years ago. who needs digital tv when you have internet?
speaking of digital tv, my colleague showed me the credit card looking $40 coupon the US government has mailed out to people to assist them in purchasing the digital decoder box so you can continue to use your analog tv.
let's have some friday night math:
105,480,101 households (2000 census) * $40 = $4.2 billion
assuming every household gets one coupon regardless of how many tv's they own and regardless of whether they have cable, satellite, or otherwise have no need for a digital decoder box.
of course these things don't come in the mail automatically. you have to fill out a form and apply for one, or two even. since there's no way to verify that you need one or not, it's possible you could apply for two coupons, wait for some time because the coupon fund has already run out of money, buy two converter boxes, return them, and earn $80 in store credit. hmmm, not a bad idea.... i wonder if walmart still has their famous return policy.
i'm not encouraging fraud. that idea really came to me just then. i'm sure somebody has already thought of a way to prevent this. in any case, don't try this at home.
i took a break from composition today and just had some fun with my synthesizer. the synthesizer i'm playing with didn't come with any preset instrument sounds. at first, i found little use for it because i didn't want to be bothered with trying to program it when i could just use something else with twenty different sounds to start with. it turns out that not having any presets is pretty liberating. i have no frame of reference for what is possible or what the thing is best at so with a little playing around, i end up with something interesting just because i wasn't headed in any particular direction with a preconceived idea.
the other really cool thing about it is that i can use the key pressure from my midi controller to change the way the synth sounds. i can play a key and wobble it around like on a violin for some interesting effects.
and for my next nerdy trick, let me write about my magic the gathering card collection... just kidding, i sold my cards years ago.
it's kind of amazing how far that game spread. when i saw my cousin in the philippines, one of his friends had a magic card out on his desk. small world.
speaking of digital tv, my colleague showed me the credit card looking $40 coupon the US government has mailed out to people to assist them in purchasing the digital decoder box so you can continue to use your analog tv.
let's have some friday night math:
105,480,101 households (2000 census) * $40 = $4.2 billion
assuming every household gets one coupon regardless of how many tv's they own and regardless of whether they have cable, satellite, or otherwise have no need for a digital decoder box.
of course these things don't come in the mail automatically. you have to fill out a form and apply for one, or two even. since there's no way to verify that you need one or not, it's possible you could apply for two coupons, wait for some time because the coupon fund has already run out of money, buy two converter boxes, return them, and earn $80 in store credit. hmmm, not a bad idea.... i wonder if walmart still has their famous return policy.
i'm not encouraging fraud. that idea really came to me just then. i'm sure somebody has already thought of a way to prevent this. in any case, don't try this at home.
i took a break from composition today and just had some fun with my synthesizer. the synthesizer i'm playing with didn't come with any preset instrument sounds. at first, i found little use for it because i didn't want to be bothered with trying to program it when i could just use something else with twenty different sounds to start with. it turns out that not having any presets is pretty liberating. i have no frame of reference for what is possible or what the thing is best at so with a little playing around, i end up with something interesting just because i wasn't headed in any particular direction with a preconceived idea.
the other really cool thing about it is that i can use the key pressure from my midi controller to change the way the synth sounds. i can play a key and wobble it around like on a violin for some interesting effects.
and for my next nerdy trick, let me write about my magic the gathering card collection... just kidding, i sold my cards years ago.
it's kind of amazing how far that game spread. when i saw my cousin in the philippines, one of his friends had a magic card out on his desk. small world.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
you wouldn't get this from any other guy
i think somebody rickrolled me in my sleep. i woke up this morning and in the shower, the first rendition on queue was "never gonna give you up". i even worked in the little hip shake move. if i had been more awake, i think i might have tried to run up a wall and do a flip.
i seem to have found a tiny bit of creative energy today. i revisited the track i've been playing with and thanks to some rhythmic shaking of car keys, i got it to sound a little more organic. like a caravan of gypsies carrying all their worldly possessions across a wasteland. well, probably not like that at all, but that's what i had in mind.
i finally got around to looking at arab music. i was thinking some more random key mashing might lead me somewhere but right now i'm kind of stuck. i'm hoping a look at the music theory will give me some sort of direction. it's really fascinating. the note intervals are half the size as in western music which opens up a lot of room to play with. and get lost in i guess. on the other hand, i might just need to give this thing a rest, move on to something else, and come back to it later.
maybe i ought to have a go at a rick astley remix...
i seem to have found a tiny bit of creative energy today. i revisited the track i've been playing with and thanks to some rhythmic shaking of car keys, i got it to sound a little more organic. like a caravan of gypsies carrying all their worldly possessions across a wasteland. well, probably not like that at all, but that's what i had in mind.
i finally got around to looking at arab music. i was thinking some more random key mashing might lead me somewhere but right now i'm kind of stuck. i'm hoping a look at the music theory will give me some sort of direction. it's really fascinating. the note intervals are half the size as in western music which opens up a lot of room to play with. and get lost in i guess. on the other hand, i might just need to give this thing a rest, move on to something else, and come back to it later.
maybe i ought to have a go at a rick astley remix...
boring thoughts on taxes
some people are in hockey season, i'm in tax season. i finally got around to estimating how much i'm going to owe the IRS this year and i'm much relieved to find that i don't owe as much as i thought.
while i was diligently working on this tonight, i got a little distracted and read the article on taxes on wikipedia. walter e. williams has an interesting quote in there saying, "the difference between government and thievery is mostly a matter legality." another interesting find was an article called "tax freedom day". the tax freedom day of a nation is the calendar date after which you've worked long enough to pay your taxes for the year. in the US, this day is the 113th day of the year.
a better diversion was looking up the beatles "taxman" on you tube. at least nobody is telling me "1 for you, 19 for me" yet.
i've been a little braindead these last few days. i hope i have something more insightful to write tomorrow.
while i was diligently working on this tonight, i got a little distracted and read the article on taxes on wikipedia. walter e. williams has an interesting quote in there saying, "the difference between government and thievery is mostly a matter legality." another interesting find was an article called "tax freedom day". the tax freedom day of a nation is the calendar date after which you've worked long enough to pay your taxes for the year. in the US, this day is the 113th day of the year.
a better diversion was looking up the beatles "taxman" on you tube. at least nobody is telling me "1 for you, 19 for me" yet.
i've been a little braindead these last few days. i hope i have something more insightful to write tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
dead leaves and the dirty ground
i turned in my move out notice today. i don't know why, but i'm comforted by deadlines. i'm even motivated by deadlines. because no matter how good or bad you do, past a deadline, it doesn't matter anyway. things just go on from there.
i had another productive day and to celebrate, i went out to buffalo wild wings for $0.35 wing night. actually, i was planning to go buy some tax preparation software and i knew this bar was on the way, so i stopped in thinking i would eat some dinner then go buy my software. well, i ended up sitting at the bar and not getting to the store at all.
i met josh up there again. i also met another new friend named chris. he's from long island and he's been here two years. i asked him how he could bear it since there's really not much to do here. i'm about at my end after only three months.
i have a deadline at work on thursday and then after that, i just get to relax a bit until my contract ends next week. after that, two weeks to do whatever i like until my lease ends and i head home.
i like finishing things. it means i get to start something else entirely.
i had another productive day and to celebrate, i went out to buffalo wild wings for $0.35 wing night. actually, i was planning to go buy some tax preparation software and i knew this bar was on the way, so i stopped in thinking i would eat some dinner then go buy my software. well, i ended up sitting at the bar and not getting to the store at all.
i met josh up there again. i also met another new friend named chris. he's from long island and he's been here two years. i asked him how he could bear it since there's really not much to do here. i'm about at my end after only three months.
i have a deadline at work on thursday and then after that, i just get to relax a bit until my contract ends next week. after that, two weeks to do whatever i like until my lease ends and i head home.
i like finishing things. it means i get to start something else entirely.
skittles
today has flown by. it's incredible how repetitive work days are. i get the feeling there are something like five or six flavors of work days and in one year, you've simply experienced some series of these flavors with varying degrees of weather. today was one of those days that flies by because you're constantly engaged and you've managed to get something done.
my looming stint at unemployment is getting closer and closer. i still haven't ironed out how i'm going to use my new found time. something nice might be to try to sit still for a while. i feel like i've been on the move since the beginning of last year really.
i was thinking about what i've been writing so far, and in the short time i've been doing this, the common theme seems to be about not belonging where i am and getting into places i don't belong. it would be nice to just sit so still that i become entwined with whatever setting i'm in. like a gargoyle without all the responsibility.
my looming stint at unemployment is getting closer and closer. i still haven't ironed out how i'm going to use my new found time. something nice might be to try to sit still for a while. i feel like i've been on the move since the beginning of last year really.
i was thinking about what i've been writing so far, and in the short time i've been doing this, the common theme seems to be about not belonging where i am and getting into places i don't belong. it would be nice to just sit so still that i become entwined with whatever setting i'm in. like a gargoyle without all the responsibility.
Monday, January 12, 2009
goldilocks
i'm not quite sure how i did it, but i was up at 9am this morning, very much against my will. even more astonishing is that i went into work on a sunday. going into an office during off hours is kind of interesting. during normal hours, you're just there like you're supposed to be. going in on a weekend or late at night, it's like you have to place to yourself.
one of my favorite hobbies in school was exploring buildings after dark. my greatest achievement was getting into the theatre at UH. the theatre building at UH has a front of glass doors that open into a small reception area. there weren't any lights on inside. i could only see by the lamp on the sidewalk. after trying a few doors, i found one that was unlocked and went in. actually, i didn't know this was the theatre building when i first walked in. i thought it might be a small art studio.
i opened a set of doors on the left side of the reception area, walked down a small hallway, and emerged into the theatre hall. it was dimly lit by lights above and some brighter light from the stage. it was huge. it was like three movie theatres put together. the chairs looked really comfortable so, like goldilocks, i took a seat. i was thinking that i had the whole place to myself when i saw three black cats walk slowly across the stage. good thing they weren't bears.
after sitting there a few moments, i got the idea to go stand on the stage. why not? nobody here right. so i did. looking out at all the empty seats, the place looked even bigger. i walked from one end of the stage to the other while looking out at the empty seats. i'm not any sort of performer so just imagining what it would be like to have all those seats filled with people staring at me made me nervous.
i wanted to explore some more so i walked off towards the left end of the stage. i saw some metal grate stairs that went down below the stage so i followed them and found myself in a dressing room area. amazingly there were still lights on. here, there were the mirrors and chairs where the actors would get makeup. i walked into the next room and found the costume room. three or four racks of costumes in styles that i can't remember and a box of wigs. i was starting to get a little nervous again. i was actually under the stage and i began to wonder why there should be any lights on in the first place.
the last room i found was the prop/set room. there were big wooden cutouts which were the set pieces and boxes and shelves of assorted props. i found an old style cash register, swords, guitars... it was pretty neat. and then i heard voices outside. two voices. i backed into a dark corner of the prop room and tried hard to listen to what they were talking about. i think they were drama students working on a new production. i heard them walk away and decided it was probably best that i leave.
i waited for it to get quiet again, then walked back the way i came. past the costume room, past the dressing room, up the metal stairs as quietly as i could manage, and found myself on the stage again. no cats, no voices. i went out the theatre doors, through the glass doors and back outside...
another good adventure was when i got into the control room for the big fountain at UH, but that's another story for another time.
one of my favorite hobbies in school was exploring buildings after dark. my greatest achievement was getting into the theatre at UH. the theatre building at UH has a front of glass doors that open into a small reception area. there weren't any lights on inside. i could only see by the lamp on the sidewalk. after trying a few doors, i found one that was unlocked and went in. actually, i didn't know this was the theatre building when i first walked in. i thought it might be a small art studio.
i opened a set of doors on the left side of the reception area, walked down a small hallway, and emerged into the theatre hall. it was dimly lit by lights above and some brighter light from the stage. it was huge. it was like three movie theatres put together. the chairs looked really comfortable so, like goldilocks, i took a seat. i was thinking that i had the whole place to myself when i saw three black cats walk slowly across the stage. good thing they weren't bears.
after sitting there a few moments, i got the idea to go stand on the stage. why not? nobody here right. so i did. looking out at all the empty seats, the place looked even bigger. i walked from one end of the stage to the other while looking out at the empty seats. i'm not any sort of performer so just imagining what it would be like to have all those seats filled with people staring at me made me nervous.
i wanted to explore some more so i walked off towards the left end of the stage. i saw some metal grate stairs that went down below the stage so i followed them and found myself in a dressing room area. amazingly there were still lights on. here, there were the mirrors and chairs where the actors would get makeup. i walked into the next room and found the costume room. three or four racks of costumes in styles that i can't remember and a box of wigs. i was starting to get a little nervous again. i was actually under the stage and i began to wonder why there should be any lights on in the first place.
the last room i found was the prop/set room. there were big wooden cutouts which were the set pieces and boxes and shelves of assorted props. i found an old style cash register, swords, guitars... it was pretty neat. and then i heard voices outside. two voices. i backed into a dark corner of the prop room and tried hard to listen to what they were talking about. i think they were drama students working on a new production. i heard them walk away and decided it was probably best that i leave.
i waited for it to get quiet again, then walked back the way i came. past the costume room, past the dressing room, up the metal stairs as quietly as i could manage, and found myself on the stage again. no cats, no voices. i went out the theatre doors, through the glass doors and back outside...
another good adventure was when i got into the control room for the big fountain at UH, but that's another story for another time.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
lazy saturday
what a nice day today. the sun came out and upon waking up, i was greeted by the dripping of melting snow and ice. i set out around 2pm this afternoon to find some breakfast. my usual saturday afternoon spot is the waffle house counter on filmore. i ordered a waffle, two slices of sausage, and a small glass of orange juice. i don't know what it is, but i usually arrive at the tail end of a rush and as soon as i get my food, half the people in the place have left.
my favorite grill cook was working again today. another quirk about me is that i have a special affection for lesbians. and just so nobody gives me a hard time, she announced to the whole restaurant that she was a lesbian the first time i was there.
after my delicious breakfast, i spent the rest of the afternoon in starbucks reading a book called "a sideways look at time". it's really a fascinating book, although i get the feeling it's not so much a novel as a collection of essays. one of the main themes of the book is how we take for granted our measurement of time. the gregorian calendar vs. the julian calendar vs. the chinese calendar vs. anyone else's caldenar. daylight savings vs. standard time. why GMT? why not some other place in the world? the author argues that imperialism forced two major things upon indigenous people: religion and time. way to go arizona for refusing to participate in daylight savings. as for me, i haven't worn a watch since i lost my last one in the philippines. besides, i'm late everywhere i go regardless.
i came home before sunset and fussed around with what started as my silly beatboxing recording. it's become something that reminds me of moses crossing the desert. i'm not sure what to do with it or how long i'll work on it. so far it's been pretty fun though.
afterwards, i set out for buffalo wild wings for some dinner. i met a guy named john at the bar who gave me this advice about blackjack: insurance is a sucker's bet. wise words john. 66oz of beer later, i closed out my tab and went home. all in all, not a bad day.
my favorite grill cook was working again today. another quirk about me is that i have a special affection for lesbians. and just so nobody gives me a hard time, she announced to the whole restaurant that she was a lesbian the first time i was there.
after my delicious breakfast, i spent the rest of the afternoon in starbucks reading a book called "a sideways look at time". it's really a fascinating book, although i get the feeling it's not so much a novel as a collection of essays. one of the main themes of the book is how we take for granted our measurement of time. the gregorian calendar vs. the julian calendar vs. the chinese calendar vs. anyone else's caldenar. daylight savings vs. standard time. why GMT? why not some other place in the world? the author argues that imperialism forced two major things upon indigenous people: religion and time. way to go arizona for refusing to participate in daylight savings. as for me, i haven't worn a watch since i lost my last one in the philippines. besides, i'm late everywhere i go regardless.
i came home before sunset and fussed around with what started as my silly beatboxing recording. it's become something that reminds me of moses crossing the desert. i'm not sure what to do with it or how long i'll work on it. so far it's been pretty fun though.
afterwards, i set out for buffalo wild wings for some dinner. i met a guy named john at the bar who gave me this advice about blackjack: insurance is a sucker's bet. wise words john. 66oz of beer later, i closed out my tab and went home. all in all, not a bad day.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
are we there yet?
when i was in houston over the holidays, raphael asked santiago and i an interesting question: where do you see yourself in ten years?
my main answer was: not here
it's kind of a disappointing answer really. i think when someone asks that question, they really mean to ask: what goals do you hope to achieve in the future? my answer was really just an expression of dissatisfaction with my current situation. to be honest, i find myself longing to leave every place that i stay long enough.
i'm not sure how sustainable it is to want to move somewhere else, work somewhere else, travel somewhere else, go to school somewhere else. not wanting to stay anywhere long is what prevents me from buying furniture. as soon as i bought a car last year, i was planning on how i would get rid of it if i decided to leave the country to travel. i don't know if i've ever felt like i had a permanent place in the world.
if you sit in a US airport for more than five minutes, you'll hear a woman from homeland security give you a color indicating the terrorist threat level for the day. the term homeland has always struck me as odd because i've never met anyone who referred to the US as their homeland. another odd thing is that i usually use US instead of America. if anything should be considered a homeland, it should have a proper noun for a name, not an abbreviation. there really is no country named "America". that's why i tell people i'm from texas instead.
another interesting question is: how did i arrive here from ten years ago?
probably the best answer is that i was trying to avoid working hard. i seem to have done well enough, so maybe not having any goals for the next ten years will work out just fine.
my main answer was: not here
it's kind of a disappointing answer really. i think when someone asks that question, they really mean to ask: what goals do you hope to achieve in the future? my answer was really just an expression of dissatisfaction with my current situation. to be honest, i find myself longing to leave every place that i stay long enough.
i'm not sure how sustainable it is to want to move somewhere else, work somewhere else, travel somewhere else, go to school somewhere else. not wanting to stay anywhere long is what prevents me from buying furniture. as soon as i bought a car last year, i was planning on how i would get rid of it if i decided to leave the country to travel. i don't know if i've ever felt like i had a permanent place in the world.
if you sit in a US airport for more than five minutes, you'll hear a woman from homeland security give you a color indicating the terrorist threat level for the day. the term homeland has always struck me as odd because i've never met anyone who referred to the US as their homeland. another odd thing is that i usually use US instead of America. if anything should be considered a homeland, it should have a proper noun for a name, not an abbreviation. there really is no country named "America". that's why i tell people i'm from texas instead.
another interesting question is: how did i arrive here from ten years ago?
probably the best answer is that i was trying to avoid working hard. i seem to have done well enough, so maybe not having any goals for the next ten years will work out just fine.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
the secret city
it was another incredibly slow day today. well, so that i don't give the impression that i do nothing useful, i should say i had plenty of things to get done, but i had nothing to do but wait until my compute jobs finished. after reading about obsolete supercomputers, darwin, coupled cousins, the euro, and andrew viterbi on wikipedia for an hour and a half, i got up to get some tea and read a magazine in the breakroom. (note: in my defense, at least one of my colleagues spends his waiting time reading world of warcraft forums)
it's getting harder to pass the time. i wish i knew how to draw. i have a whiteboard sitting on my desk. it ought to be hanging from the cubicle wall, but until now, nobody has come by with the necessary brackets to hang it up. the other day, i scribbled a picture of two people fencing on it with a red dry erase marker. i think tomorrow i'll draw something juvenile like a treasure map.
i used to draw treasure maps when i was younger. i would take a piece of manila paper and draw in some mountains, a little forest, rivers, and a circuitous dotted line trail that would end on an "X". my favorite symbols to draw were the requisite skull and crossbones and the compass in the bottom left hand corner. i would draw all of this in pencil. after i was finished, i would crumple the paper several times until dust started falling and the paper became soft. when unfolded and held up to the light, you could see pinholes in the paper. the crumpling would soften and smear the pencil lines and the end result would be something that looked old. i made a ton of these. i wish i still had one.
i also used to draw diagrams of the space shuttle. these were based on a diagram i had in a scientific encyclopedia. i even know which volume it was. volume 18. this volume is stained red on the edge because one day, i took it to school and my fruit juice box broke and stained everything in my backpack.
i'm always amazed when i see people doodle in their notebooks these days. i had a colleague who would doodle while sitting next to my boss in a meeting. what he would draw was exactly like something i might have drawn when i was six years old. these days, it never occurs to me to doodle.
there was a show on pbs hosted by commander mark who would draw on a clear dry erase board at the end of every episode. each drawing was a continuation of a mural of daily life on an alien planet. i remember the aliens had noses like trumpets. i met commander mark once. he came to our elementary school and drew for our class in the library.
wow, that seems like it was a lifetime ago.
it's getting harder to pass the time. i wish i knew how to draw. i have a whiteboard sitting on my desk. it ought to be hanging from the cubicle wall, but until now, nobody has come by with the necessary brackets to hang it up. the other day, i scribbled a picture of two people fencing on it with a red dry erase marker. i think tomorrow i'll draw something juvenile like a treasure map.
i used to draw treasure maps when i was younger. i would take a piece of manila paper and draw in some mountains, a little forest, rivers, and a circuitous dotted line trail that would end on an "X". my favorite symbols to draw were the requisite skull and crossbones and the compass in the bottom left hand corner. i would draw all of this in pencil. after i was finished, i would crumple the paper several times until dust started falling and the paper became soft. when unfolded and held up to the light, you could see pinholes in the paper. the crumpling would soften and smear the pencil lines and the end result would be something that looked old. i made a ton of these. i wish i still had one.
i also used to draw diagrams of the space shuttle. these were based on a diagram i had in a scientific encyclopedia. i even know which volume it was. volume 18. this volume is stained red on the edge because one day, i took it to school and my fruit juice box broke and stained everything in my backpack.
i'm always amazed when i see people doodle in their notebooks these days. i had a colleague who would doodle while sitting next to my boss in a meeting. what he would draw was exactly like something i might have drawn when i was six years old. these days, it never occurs to me to doodle.
there was a show on pbs hosted by commander mark who would draw on a clear dry erase board at the end of every episode. each drawing was a continuation of a mural of daily life on an alien planet. i remember the aliens had noses like trumpets. i met commander mark once. he came to our elementary school and drew for our class in the library.
wow, that seems like it was a lifetime ago.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
holiday snacks
i've been a little sick the last few days. i think i caught something when, against my better judgment, i ate some scones that someone had set out in the breakroom at work. there's no telling how many hands were in that plastic bag before mine and there's no telling where all those hands had been just minutes before.
today was an awfully slow day, so to fill the time, i resorted to surfing the net. one of the sites i visited was the IRS website to figure out how to file my taxes this year. i printed out several forms and instructions and as i was walking to pick up my print outs, i noticed some more snacks set out, but this time in a cubicle.
i've never worked in an office with cubicles before. it's a strange thing to me. fifteen people might all work just feet away from each other, separated by walls no thicker than an inch. i can hear people take phone calls three cubicles away. as close as everyone is, i really only interact with two or three people. the set of twenty cubicles where i sit constitutes a department and there are maybe ten departments on the whole floor.
the breakroom where i picked up the scones really is a general area, but the cubicle i saw the snacks in must have belonged to another department. the people who work around this cubicle had lots of test equipment setup with wires and probes all over the place. kind of impressive. the people who work in my area only have computers and nerf guns.
i wondered if it was in poor taste to pick up snacks from a cubicle in a department of people i've never met. there's not really any physical distinction which names this area "Test" and that area "ASIC". and we all work in the same place...
i contemplated this for a few minutes. i had printed out my IRS documents in several sets and since i had nothing better to do, i made several trips to the printer which meant i made several trips past these snacks. not that i had to walk this way. i could have taken an entirely different route. but with each trip, i made a survey of how i could discretely go into this cubicle, grab something, then walk out without being noticed. after glimpsing how people were facing in their cubicles, it seemed the best strategy would be to pick up a snack on the way back to my desk.
on the last trip to the printer, i decided that it was probably not polite to pick up snacks from people i've never met, which is why i was going to pick some up on the way back to my desk without getting noticed. i walked to the printer, making a mental note of what i was going to take, picked up my print out, then walked back, into the cubicle and went for it. i picked up a piece of fudge and a ferrero rocher chocolate. i made a little noise as i was fussing with the ferrero rocher package, but i made it back to my desk undetected.
success!
today was an awfully slow day, so to fill the time, i resorted to surfing the net. one of the sites i visited was the IRS website to figure out how to file my taxes this year. i printed out several forms and instructions and as i was walking to pick up my print outs, i noticed some more snacks set out, but this time in a cubicle.
i've never worked in an office with cubicles before. it's a strange thing to me. fifteen people might all work just feet away from each other, separated by walls no thicker than an inch. i can hear people take phone calls three cubicles away. as close as everyone is, i really only interact with two or three people. the set of twenty cubicles where i sit constitutes a department and there are maybe ten departments on the whole floor.
the breakroom where i picked up the scones really is a general area, but the cubicle i saw the snacks in must have belonged to another department. the people who work around this cubicle had lots of test equipment setup with wires and probes all over the place. kind of impressive. the people who work in my area only have computers and nerf guns.
i wondered if it was in poor taste to pick up snacks from a cubicle in a department of people i've never met. there's not really any physical distinction which names this area "Test" and that area "ASIC". and we all work in the same place...
i contemplated this for a few minutes. i had printed out my IRS documents in several sets and since i had nothing better to do, i made several trips to the printer which meant i made several trips past these snacks. not that i had to walk this way. i could have taken an entirely different route. but with each trip, i made a survey of how i could discretely go into this cubicle, grab something, then walk out without being noticed. after glimpsing how people were facing in their cubicles, it seemed the best strategy would be to pick up a snack on the way back to my desk.
on the last trip to the printer, i decided that it was probably not polite to pick up snacks from people i've never met, which is why i was going to pick some up on the way back to my desk without getting noticed. i walked to the printer, making a mental note of what i was going to take, picked up my print out, then walked back, into the cubicle and went for it. i picked up a piece of fudge and a ferrero rocher chocolate. i made a little noise as i was fussing with the ferrero rocher package, but i made it back to my desk undetected.
success!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
pasta water
is it possible to cook pasta in non-potable water?
as i was about to make some pasta tonight, i remembered that i had seen more than one sign in my neighborhood that said "warning: non-potable water". several of these signs are posted on lawns in front of houses just blocks away from where i live. it's something i've never seen before. in houston, the only place i saw the words "non-potable" was on a tanker truck watering the medians on the street. i don't usually drink tap water anyway, but in houston i never stopped to wonder if it was good enough to cook with.
since i have no idea about the quality of the water here, i decided it was probably best to use my bottled drinking water. after pouring the water into the pot, i saw that i had used almost a third of the bottle. i felt a little like i was wasting this water just to boil some pasta. i started to think of what else i could do with it afterwards. make some soup maybe... i've never seen my mom do anything with pasta water besides pour it in the sink. there must be something useful you can do with it.
i've found the explanation for the non-potable water signs. they're posted wherever "reclaimed water" is being used for irrigation. i guess this is to prevent any thirsty children from drinking from the garden hose? just kidding. actually, these signs are a good thing. i think it's very responsible to warn the public that the grass the kids are playing soccer on has been watered with treated, processed, recycled sewage.
i was watching dr. strangelove the other night and to spoil the plot, a crazy general launches a nuclear attack on the soviet union because he thinks flouridation of water is part of the international communist conspiracy. strangely enough (i couldn't resist), the flouridation of water in the united states has its roots in a study done here in the colorado springs area in 1909. a condition called "colorado brown stain", caused by naturally high concentrations of flouride in the drinking water, caused tooth staining but seemed to prevent cavities.
colorado brown stain??? i WISH someone had told me this before i came here....
well, supposing the tap water is safe to cook with, i'm not sure i want the brown teeth to go with it. i still don't know what to do with my pasta water. maybe i should water the grass out front with it. it's probably the best water it's had in years.
as i was about to make some pasta tonight, i remembered that i had seen more than one sign in my neighborhood that said "warning: non-potable water". several of these signs are posted on lawns in front of houses just blocks away from where i live. it's something i've never seen before. in houston, the only place i saw the words "non-potable" was on a tanker truck watering the medians on the street. i don't usually drink tap water anyway, but in houston i never stopped to wonder if it was good enough to cook with.
since i have no idea about the quality of the water here, i decided it was probably best to use my bottled drinking water. after pouring the water into the pot, i saw that i had used almost a third of the bottle. i felt a little like i was wasting this water just to boil some pasta. i started to think of what else i could do with it afterwards. make some soup maybe... i've never seen my mom do anything with pasta water besides pour it in the sink. there must be something useful you can do with it.
i've found the explanation for the non-potable water signs. they're posted wherever "reclaimed water" is being used for irrigation. i guess this is to prevent any thirsty children from drinking from the garden hose? just kidding. actually, these signs are a good thing. i think it's very responsible to warn the public that the grass the kids are playing soccer on has been watered with treated, processed, recycled sewage.
i was watching dr. strangelove the other night and to spoil the plot, a crazy general launches a nuclear attack on the soviet union because he thinks flouridation of water is part of the international communist conspiracy. strangely enough (i couldn't resist), the flouridation of water in the united states has its roots in a study done here in the colorado springs area in 1909. a condition called "colorado brown stain", caused by naturally high concentrations of flouride in the drinking water, caused tooth staining but seemed to prevent cavities.
colorado brown stain??? i WISH someone had told me this before i came here....
well, supposing the tap water is safe to cook with, i'm not sure i want the brown teeth to go with it. i still don't know what to do with my pasta water. maybe i should water the grass out front with it. it's probably the best water it's had in years.
Monday, January 5, 2009
back to work
oh mondays
so after being off for two weeks, i'm back to work. taking advantage of the snow from last night and the fact that everyone at work knows i'm from texas, i came into work about an hour late today armed with the good hearted explanation for anyone that might give me a hard time that it took me a while to scrape the ice off my car this morning. i honestly don't know if anyone notices me coming in late or not, but i've been armed with the excuse for quite some time now. i also have an excuse for leaving early. in my mind, i imagine the conversation i would have with my boss if he noticed i was leaving before sunset and it would go something like this:
---
boss: oh hey shaun, leaving already?
me: yeah, you know it's getting cold out there (rub my hands together for effect). i want to get home before it gets too icy out there.
boss: oh yeah, you texas folks, can't handle the cold weather can ya? (friendly slap on the shoulder) alright then, be careful. see you tomorrow.
---
just like that.
actually, i've become pretty efficient at scaping ice off my car and i enjoy driving in the snow. after the snowfall from the other day, i went out to the park to find some empty space to drive around and have some fun. it turns out i'm not the only reckless idiot who drives to the park for the purpose of sliding around in their car.
the first time i went to the park, i was pretty cautious to make sure that none of the other cars there were any sort of authority figures. furthermore, i didn't want to go sliding around setting a bad example for any kids who were in the car with their mom, so i'd wait until there weren't any cars near me. well, i was driving to the south end of the park and there was a car moving pretty slowly in front of me. i thought that i would keep going to the empty south end and wait for this car to leave, but right in front of me, i see the car turn 180 degrees all of a sudden and slide to a stop. as i inched past, i made eye contact with the driver and he had this guilty look on his face as if i caught him red handed. in his excitement, he must not have seen me behind him. so, as a friendly gesture, i drove a little past him, then turned sharply left and pulled the hand brake, doing my own 180. i imagine he was relieved.
with all my preparation, i didn't need any excuses today for coming late and leaving early. my boss wasn't there at all. not only that, i saw one of the full time employees pull up near my car after i had just stepped out. he had the same look on his face as the driver who did the 180 in front of me.
so after being off for two weeks, i'm back to work. taking advantage of the snow from last night and the fact that everyone at work knows i'm from texas, i came into work about an hour late today armed with the good hearted explanation for anyone that might give me a hard time that it took me a while to scrape the ice off my car this morning. i honestly don't know if anyone notices me coming in late or not, but i've been armed with the excuse for quite some time now. i also have an excuse for leaving early. in my mind, i imagine the conversation i would have with my boss if he noticed i was leaving before sunset and it would go something like this:
---
boss: oh hey shaun, leaving already?
me: yeah, you know it's getting cold out there (rub my hands together for effect). i want to get home before it gets too icy out there.
boss: oh yeah, you texas folks, can't handle the cold weather can ya? (friendly slap on the shoulder) alright then, be careful. see you tomorrow.
---
just like that.
actually, i've become pretty efficient at scaping ice off my car and i enjoy driving in the snow. after the snowfall from the other day, i went out to the park to find some empty space to drive around and have some fun. it turns out i'm not the only reckless idiot who drives to the park for the purpose of sliding around in their car.
the first time i went to the park, i was pretty cautious to make sure that none of the other cars there were any sort of authority figures. furthermore, i didn't want to go sliding around setting a bad example for any kids who were in the car with their mom, so i'd wait until there weren't any cars near me. well, i was driving to the south end of the park and there was a car moving pretty slowly in front of me. i thought that i would keep going to the empty south end and wait for this car to leave, but right in front of me, i see the car turn 180 degrees all of a sudden and slide to a stop. as i inched past, i made eye contact with the driver and he had this guilty look on his face as if i caught him red handed. in his excitement, he must not have seen me behind him. so, as a friendly gesture, i drove a little past him, then turned sharply left and pulled the hand brake, doing my own 180. i imagine he was relieved.
with all my preparation, i didn't need any excuses today for coming late and leaving early. my boss wasn't there at all. not only that, i saw one of the full time employees pull up near my car after i had just stepped out. he had the same look on his face as the driver who did the 180 in front of me.
same as it ever was
i've just finished reading kurt vonnegut's player piano. it's a story about a world where machines are so efficient that human labor is completely unnecessary. the only people with any sort of power are the engineers who keep the machines running. everyone else is allotted food rations, housing, medical insurance, tv, radio, automatic dishwasher... a computer in new mexico allocates the production quota for every item in the economy for the year. it's a socialist utopia. all of this at the price of human dignity because the machines have displaced anyone not bright enough to earn a phd.
this book was recommended to me a few years ago by a classmate while i was doing my master's at ut. although maybe not along the same lines, i've had this unsatisfying feeling about being an engineer for some time now. i remember thinking around christmas a couple years ago that electrical engineers make disposable christmas gifts. i remember thinking that the chip my company was working on at the time would be in the trash by the time i finished my degree. what's the point then to spend a year or two to design something that will be in the trash like that? maybe a buddhist sand sculpter might laugh at me. or maybe not. i have no spiritual connection to what i work on. how can i have a spiritual connection to a disposable consumer product?
perhaps the problem is trying to find some sort of fulfillment in my work. i've certainly invested a lot of time and energy in school and in my work now. shouldn't i have more to take away from it than a paycheck?
i've met a few colleagues along the way who share my outlook on this. they're all older than forty. the ones my age all love what they're doing. when i took this contract, i loved what i was doing for three weeks. after that, the old anxiety and frustration came back. i thought i just didn't like the last place i worked. it turns out that changing jobs, changing cities, hasn't changed much.
...
i've been reading the tao te ching lately. i'm reminded of this passage:
"The greatest calamity is not knowing sufficiency,
no greater calamity than desire for gain.
Therefore contentment
with one's portion of contentment
is eternal contentment enough."
so, i have to admit going to work and having a paycheck are very nice things, but i can't help sometimes feeling like the people in vonnegut's novel. if the things i make are so disposable, what about me?
this book was recommended to me a few years ago by a classmate while i was doing my master's at ut. although maybe not along the same lines, i've had this unsatisfying feeling about being an engineer for some time now. i remember thinking around christmas a couple years ago that electrical engineers make disposable christmas gifts. i remember thinking that the chip my company was working on at the time would be in the trash by the time i finished my degree. what's the point then to spend a year or two to design something that will be in the trash like that? maybe a buddhist sand sculpter might laugh at me. or maybe not. i have no spiritual connection to what i work on. how can i have a spiritual connection to a disposable consumer product?
perhaps the problem is trying to find some sort of fulfillment in my work. i've certainly invested a lot of time and energy in school and in my work now. shouldn't i have more to take away from it than a paycheck?
i've met a few colleagues along the way who share my outlook on this. they're all older than forty. the ones my age all love what they're doing. when i took this contract, i loved what i was doing for three weeks. after that, the old anxiety and frustration came back. i thought i just didn't like the last place i worked. it turns out that changing jobs, changing cities, hasn't changed much.
...
i've been reading the tao te ching lately. i'm reminded of this passage:
"The greatest calamity is not knowing sufficiency,
no greater calamity than desire for gain.
Therefore contentment
with one's portion of contentment
is eternal contentment enough."
so, i have to admit going to work and having a paycheck are very nice things, but i can't help sometimes feeling like the people in vonnegut's novel. if the things i make are so disposable, what about me?
Saturday, January 3, 2009
cold again
well, it's been t-shirt and jeans weather all week, but today it dropped below freezing again. the low tonight is supposed to be -13C. i was on my way out this evening to have a little walk downtown but changed my mind after having a few snowflakes land on my head.
i had gone out and bought some groceries earlier today so i thought it would be a nice opportunity to stay in and make some dinner for myself for the first time this week. i got the saucepan out from the oven (an ingenious storage trick i learned from my friend i-shuan) and heated up some canned new england clam chowder. i made sure to buy a can that had a tab to open it because i wasn't sure if i had brought my can opener up here. a few minutes later, i had a delicious hot meal.
i am counting the days until the end of my contract here. seventeen. three months have gone by pretty quickly. i can now claim to have worked on a product that will actually be manufactured and that someone will pay money to buy. that's kind of satisfying.
after my contract is up, i'm planning on sticking around for a couple weeks to try skiing. i've never done it before. i'm hoping i won't have to buy much gear. i was shopping for some ski pants that were all priced around $80. i went to the mall and found some on sale for $20. not bad, eh? i also bought some warm socks that were priced at $14. how does that make sense?
one more day off, then back to work.
i had gone out and bought some groceries earlier today so i thought it would be a nice opportunity to stay in and make some dinner for myself for the first time this week. i got the saucepan out from the oven (an ingenious storage trick i learned from my friend i-shuan) and heated up some canned new england clam chowder. i made sure to buy a can that had a tab to open it because i wasn't sure if i had brought my can opener up here. a few minutes later, i had a delicious hot meal.
i am counting the days until the end of my contract here. seventeen. three months have gone by pretty quickly. i can now claim to have worked on a product that will actually be manufactured and that someone will pay money to buy. that's kind of satisfying.
after my contract is up, i'm planning on sticking around for a couple weeks to try skiing. i've never done it before. i'm hoping i won't have to buy much gear. i was shopping for some ski pants that were all priced around $80. i went to the mall and found some on sale for $20. not bad, eh? i also bought some warm socks that were priced at $14. how does that make sense?
one more day off, then back to work.
Friday, January 2, 2009
how to eat alone and the importance of being furnished
in the two months i've been in colorado springs for work, i've mastered the art of eating out alone. the necessity arose because i haven't met anyone outside of work here and my cooking ability is outweighed by my reluctance to wash dishes.
the most intimidating aspect about eating out alone is sitting at a table with two seats, the one across from you empty, while all around you are other tables with couples or bigger groups. this sort of thing is tolerable for eating fast food, say mcdonalds, because the anxiety of sitting by yourself at a table before your food comes is short enough to be bareable. however, if i want fast food, i usually don't bother with even walking in the place. i just get in my car, go through the drive through, then go home.
the secret to eating out alone is to eat at a place with a bar or a counter. in this way, your back is turned towards any other diners who are fortunate enough to have company. this also saves you the trouble of having to distract yourself until your food comes. if you're sitting at a sushi bar, you can watch the chef and he'll probably chit chat with you a little bit.
there's a thai food place down the street from where i work and they were smart enough to put a counter by the front windows of the shop. i like to sit there and read whatever free newspapers they keep by the front door until my food is ready.
regular bars are somewhat tougher to deal with. they usually have a bunch of tv's on without any sound. the bartender is not as likely to chit chat. i usually find myself staring up at a hockey game until my food arrives. i met a guy named josh the other night. i guess he was watching me sitting there trying to look entertained when he got my attention and suggested i play the trivia game he was playing on one of the screens. this guy knew what he was talking about. that was a lot more entertaining than watching tv with no sound.
...
i was sitting in starbucks earlier today thinking that i've been conditioned to sitting in chairs for the last twenty seven years of my life. staying in my unfurnished studio for the last two months is beginning to make me appreciate how nice furniture is. i have my laptop set on top of a box and i sit in front of it with my legs crossed. this is becoming more and more uncomfortable. i went to starbucks this afternoon to borrow a chair and table. it was really nice to read a book at the proper height. it was amazing to slouch in the chair.
i'm looking forward to getting back to houston after my job is finished. i was there during christmas week and really enjoyed sleeping in a bed again. i also enjoyed having lunch with my mom in my own house.
the most intimidating aspect about eating out alone is sitting at a table with two seats, the one across from you empty, while all around you are other tables with couples or bigger groups. this sort of thing is tolerable for eating fast food, say mcdonalds, because the anxiety of sitting by yourself at a table before your food comes is short enough to be bareable. however, if i want fast food, i usually don't bother with even walking in the place. i just get in my car, go through the drive through, then go home.
the secret to eating out alone is to eat at a place with a bar or a counter. in this way, your back is turned towards any other diners who are fortunate enough to have company. this also saves you the trouble of having to distract yourself until your food comes. if you're sitting at a sushi bar, you can watch the chef and he'll probably chit chat with you a little bit.
there's a thai food place down the street from where i work and they were smart enough to put a counter by the front windows of the shop. i like to sit there and read whatever free newspapers they keep by the front door until my food is ready.
regular bars are somewhat tougher to deal with. they usually have a bunch of tv's on without any sound. the bartender is not as likely to chit chat. i usually find myself staring up at a hockey game until my food arrives. i met a guy named josh the other night. i guess he was watching me sitting there trying to look entertained when he got my attention and suggested i play the trivia game he was playing on one of the screens. this guy knew what he was talking about. that was a lot more entertaining than watching tv with no sound.
...
i was sitting in starbucks earlier today thinking that i've been conditioned to sitting in chairs for the last twenty seven years of my life. staying in my unfurnished studio for the last two months is beginning to make me appreciate how nice furniture is. i have my laptop set on top of a box and i sit in front of it with my legs crossed. this is becoming more and more uncomfortable. i went to starbucks this afternoon to borrow a chair and table. it was really nice to read a book at the proper height. it was amazing to slouch in the chair.
i'm looking forward to getting back to houston after my job is finished. i was there during christmas week and really enjoyed sleeping in a bed again. i also enjoyed having lunch with my mom in my own house.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
happy new year
all of a sudden i feel like doogie howser
last night was a memorable new year's eve for me because it was quite possibly the tamest, most uneventful one in recent memory, but i'm going to write about it anyway.
i walked about a mile from my apartment to downtown colorado springs, co around 11pm last night with my camera to see if anything interesting was happening. most of my trip took me through dark streets, with houses completely black. past empty store fronts. past old eerily lit churches. i was spooked.
the odd thing is that there are so many cars parked out on the streets. most houses in this neighborhood don't have garages. so, it's easy to tell which houses should be occupied, but hardly any of them had lights on.
in recent weeks, zombies have been a recurring theme for me. i was reading "how to survive a zombie attack" in barnes and noble a few weeks ago. although it wouldn't be my first choice, apparently prisons and oil rigs make good shelters.
last week, i was playing a game with luis called "left 4 dead" where you're trying to get rescued. just today i was describing my night to roy and his comment was that it sounds like silent hill. lately, i've been reading hamlet. i guess hamlet's father is a ghost and not a zombie, but close enough... so, i spent most of my walk imagining how i would karate chop any zombies who thought they would spoil my new year. when i'd had enough of that, i started singing "leaving on a jet plane" out loud because there was nobody around to hear me.
well, after i walked for about twenty minutes, i finally made it to the edge of downtown and started to see street lights and some bars open. i walked another block and i saw people waiting in line outside clubs to get in. i saw people playing music on the sidewalk. it's the liveliest i've seen downtown here.
i walked down tejon st. until i started to see fewer bars and turned around to pick a place where i'd spend the last few minutes of 2008. a lot of the clubs were too full to get into. i walked back to the edge of downtown where i started and went into a bar called tony's. the place was so quiet. no wonder it was so easy to get in. i got a seat at the very edge of the bar, next to the game machine. i ordered a beer that was served to me in a tiny glass. i looked around to see that nobody had a pint glass. what kind of bar was this?
i had enough time for two drinks before the rebroadcasted ball drop from new york let us know it was the official beginning of 2009. i left after my second drink and took a different route home. it was still dark, but i didn't have to walk past so many empty store fronts and churches.
the streets were still desolate and i had already sang, so i had the idea to beatbox while i was walking home. i was so entertained that when i got home, i decided to record my beatboxing on my laptop. i spent the next hour messing with the recording and programming some beats.
...and that's how i spent the last moments of 2008 and the first moments of 2009.
this is the first post of my new project to blog throughout 2009. in a few short weeks, i'm going to be unemployed for the first time since i left high school. i hope i'll have plenty of things to write about this year.
last night was a memorable new year's eve for me because it was quite possibly the tamest, most uneventful one in recent memory, but i'm going to write about it anyway.
i walked about a mile from my apartment to downtown colorado springs, co around 11pm last night with my camera to see if anything interesting was happening. most of my trip took me through dark streets, with houses completely black. past empty store fronts. past old eerily lit churches. i was spooked.
the odd thing is that there are so many cars parked out on the streets. most houses in this neighborhood don't have garages. so, it's easy to tell which houses should be occupied, but hardly any of them had lights on.
in recent weeks, zombies have been a recurring theme for me. i was reading "how to survive a zombie attack" in barnes and noble a few weeks ago. although it wouldn't be my first choice, apparently prisons and oil rigs make good shelters.
last week, i was playing a game with luis called "left 4 dead" where you're trying to get rescued. just today i was describing my night to roy and his comment was that it sounds like silent hill. lately, i've been reading hamlet. i guess hamlet's father is a ghost and not a zombie, but close enough... so, i spent most of my walk imagining how i would karate chop any zombies who thought they would spoil my new year. when i'd had enough of that, i started singing "leaving on a jet plane" out loud because there was nobody around to hear me.
well, after i walked for about twenty minutes, i finally made it to the edge of downtown and started to see street lights and some bars open. i walked another block and i saw people waiting in line outside clubs to get in. i saw people playing music on the sidewalk. it's the liveliest i've seen downtown here.
i walked down tejon st. until i started to see fewer bars and turned around to pick a place where i'd spend the last few minutes of 2008. a lot of the clubs were too full to get into. i walked back to the edge of downtown where i started and went into a bar called tony's. the place was so quiet. no wonder it was so easy to get in. i got a seat at the very edge of the bar, next to the game machine. i ordered a beer that was served to me in a tiny glass. i looked around to see that nobody had a pint glass. what kind of bar was this?
i had enough time for two drinks before the rebroadcasted ball drop from new york let us know it was the official beginning of 2009. i left after my second drink and took a different route home. it was still dark, but i didn't have to walk past so many empty store fronts and churches.
the streets were still desolate and i had already sang, so i had the idea to beatbox while i was walking home. i was so entertained that when i got home, i decided to record my beatboxing on my laptop. i spent the next hour messing with the recording and programming some beats.
...and that's how i spent the last moments of 2008 and the first moments of 2009.
this is the first post of my new project to blog throughout 2009. in a few short weeks, i'm going to be unemployed for the first time since i left high school. i hope i'll have plenty of things to write about this year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)