hermann park

the weather the last few days has been beautiful. dark clouds and short bursts of rain give way to cool sunny skies for the rest of the afternoon. i set out today not knowing where i would end up. i saw a sign giving information about parking for the bayou city art festival, so i headed that way. i spent about 40 minutes in traffic without finding a parking spot, but it was such a nice day to be out that i didn't mind too much. i gave up on the art festival and headed towards the museum of fine arts. i usually don't have a problem parking there, but i found the place i normally park was full. so, i headed across the street to hermann park and eventually found some place to get out of my car. an hour and 35 miles later, i ended up sitting on the hill in front of the miller outdoor theatre, enjoying the afternoon sun and reading a book.

it might seem like a long way and a lot of trouble to find a patch of grass, but it's funny how certain places take on such significance. although this hill is nothing special in particular, there are a lot of good memories for me there. as a kid, i remember taking field trips to the museum of natural science and having a picnic lunch on this hill. after lunch, it seemed proper to roll like logs and race down the hill. indeed, i can't remember a single instance where i've been there and didn't roll down the hill or watch every kid under 10 roll down the hill.

i've had several dates there. i've sat on a bench by myself having lunch there more than once. i've been restless at night and walked around there. maybe i have a long memory, or maybe i'm lazy in finding places to visit, but this hill 35 miles away from where i live seems to be a favorite place of mine. and a favorite place for a lot of other people too.

the first days of my unemployment seemed to move so slow. one week seemed like three. these days seem to move pretty fast. i don't move fast at all, but the days do, so that two weeks pass without me noticing. it's like when i was working but without the stress. having become aware of this has made me a little restless in the last few days. i started to wonder how i let a month go by without accomplishing anything. then i started to wonder what it is that i want to accomplish. having no immediate answers, i started to feel like i'm becoming dull.

now i'm wondering if being dull is a problem, or if being dull is a step forward. maybe feeling dull is actually all the noisy thoughts in my head taking a break, making room for something new to come in. or, maybe feeling dull is actually a result of not exercising my brain and instead has made it harder to see the subtle. or maybe i'm getting carried away, hahaha. in any case, i'm starting to feel like i've had a lot of rest and that i'm ready to be a little more active. active in what i've yet to decide on.